As stated in the Word of God (Ecclesiastes 3:2), there is a time to be born and a time to die. This verse records a powerful truth about life — death is inevitable.
Everything that has life dies at some point, and depending on the circumstances of the death, the age of the deceased, and the relationship with them, the nature, length, and intensity of the bereaved’s response will vary.
The first step in processing the passing of a loved one is coming to fully realise and accept that our loved one is, in fact, dead and that we will not be able to interact with them here on earth ever again.
This is sometimes referred to as getting closure and may include seeing the body at the undertakers, attending a viewing, or taking an active part in arranging the funeral or memorial. While online attendance is possible, there is nothing more therapeutic than being present in person. The Lord God, who receives the departed into His loving presence, comforts believers through the Holy Spirit during these ceremonies.
The time before the funeral is normally busy, filled with arrangements and support from friends and family. After the funeral, however, most people return to their daily lives. Those most affected by the loss may even be avoided.
This is when the bereaved need the most support. They must be assisted in building a life without their loved one.
Losing a loved one confronts us with the reality of death and what we believe about the afterlife. Re-evaluating core beliefs and spiritual relationships can greatly assist in healing.
Belonging to a sound church where spiritual and emotional assistance is available helps those left behind cope both emotionally and spiritually.
Grief is a long, personal process involving hurt, sadness, confusion, fear, and even desperation. Over time, the impact reduces as the bereaved learns to live without the deceased.
It is strongly advised that the bereaved take part in grief programs such as GriefShare, where they can interact with others who have experienced loss. These programs, often run by churches, are truly helpful.
Suppressing emotions can have serious long-term health consequences. Being “tough” often isolates the bereaved from those who want to support them. Talking with family, friends, or counsellors is important.
Living in the pain of the past keeps the grieving person chained to the loss. The deceased would want their loved ones to live the best life possible while cherishing the good memories.
Interacting with family, friends, and especially children affected by the loss can help the bereaved process their own pain. Listening is often more important than speaking.
Guilt or anger may stem from real or imagined wrongs, the cause of death, relationship challenges, or survivor guilt. If these feelings persist, professional counselling is recommended.
We know that we cannot talk to those who have died. But those with the Lord can (see Luke 16). Consider the following exercise:
Never keep such a letter. It may become a burden to you. Repeat this exercise as often as needed over the years.