East Rand Funeral Directors

Spiritual Notes

The wound inflicted by loss

This wound is emotional and physical. Both need treatment for healing. People often take the shorter route to recovery which is also the longest. They want to avoid memories and change the subject. But the more you think and talk about the topic the more quickly healing comes.

Therefore think about:

Planting a flower bed because flowers symbolically let the healing bloom.
Burning a scented candle because the scent symbolically pushes out our longing.
Burning a big candle during a birthday or Christmas because it's symbolic of his or her presence.

A wound takes time to heal and therefore you have to make a choice, one day at a time!

Realize that the Lord is a God of healing, walk the journey with Him.

“For I am the LORD who heals you” (Ex. 15:26b).

Spiritual guidelines

Develop a purposeful prayer life. Talk to God and share with Him your thoughts and feelings. God promises to listen to us. “Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions” and “When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honour them” (Ps. 119:29 and Ps. 91:15).
Develop a positive, practical perspective on what happened. God always has a bigger plan for us although we do not always understand and it hurts. “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose for them” (Rom. 8:28) and “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, says the LORD. And My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts” (Is. 55:8&9). Be careful not to get entangled by frustration, fury or aggression, which is mostly controlled by our emotions. Being positive and by putting the situation into perspective will lead you to victory even through the darkest valley and deepest loss. “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise” (Phil.4: 8).
Develop an attitude of peace with the past. Ask forgiveness for your failures and forgive the failures of others. Grab the presence as well the future God plans for you. “But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness” (1 John. 1:9).
Make scriptures and promises your own. God creates the universe by only speaking everything into existence! His Word is powerful enough to create new life and to restore happiness in your heart. “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16&17).
God wants to comfort and heal you. “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” (Ps. 147:3).
Develop a desire for eternity. “So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever” (2 Cor. 4:18).

Emotional guidelines

Cultivate a strong, sensitive support network. God given people who really care. “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Prov. 27:17).
Cultivate the freedom to cry. “Those who plant with tears will harvest with shouts of joy” (Ps. 126:5)
This is not a time to be strong but it is a time to grieve. ”A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance” (Eccl. 3:4).
Cultivate a purposeful plan to socialize. This must be a decision on purpose to visit a friend at their house for example or to simply go and buy groceries yourself. “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near” (Heb. 10:25).
Get a trustworthy, honest companion because the Word says to us “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Eccl. 4:9-10).
Cultivate freedom from bitterness. “Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32).